When former addicts that are single become sober and have gotten out of the vicious cycle that addiction brings about, they often become eager to embark on the dating scene. Addiction often brings about isolation which then leads to loneliness when the individual gets clean. Thus, the issue of singlehood and sobriety is a critical matter to ensure that you stay sober. Many experts believe that one should wait until they have been clean for at least a year prior to starting a relationship.
It is about the addict’s readiness for a relationship and the type of people that will be attracted to someone that clearly still needs time for themselves. While the rule of waiting at least a year cannot be found in any book, and really, it is not written down anywhere, it is an axiom that you will likely hear at a 12-step meeting. The cardinal rule of thumb is to not even consider dating for six months.
Addiction counselors say that early on in recovery, we may tend to recreate our traumas. Occasionally, patients are broken as a result of their attraction to the negative energy associated with what they know best. Generally, the first year of addiction recovery appears to be the most relapse-prone period. It is critical to wait since the first year will involve therapeutic psychiatric work that will help you determine whether a person is a good fit or not. They suggest that the newly sober focus on treatment until they hit their year mark.
There are issues and concerns with people that are fresh to recovery and trying to meet people to date. Bars and clubs can be hazardous environments for newly sober people that are trying to meet others. Newly sober people spend dates away from drinking environments. If you attend athletic events, pubs, and clubs, or other areas where people gather for social activities, you will notice that alcohol plays a significant role in many of the relationships. Several addiction patients participate in dance and cooking lessons, as well as travel and enjoy the outdoors. Once you have established your recovery process, it is beneficial to find alternate ways to meet people.
Often, people think a good place to find a date is within the addiction recovery circle. This can add a new layer of problems. It’s wonderful to date some addiction recovering individuals. However, they must both maintain their own recovery lives, or they will rely on one another, and if one person relapses, the other might as well.
A number of people in recovery are not sure how much of their addiction recovery, if any, should be disclosed on dates. Some do not mind sharing every detail, but others like to keep their sobriety private for fear that it will cause a date to run in the other direction. Many will not deny that dating while sober is weird and awkward. It also gets more difficult and is not like it used to be where the liquid courage takes over, and you are filled with impulse.
Psychiatrists and addiction specialists say that conflict and emotions brought up by rocky relationships can lead to relapse. According to experts, some people can continue relatively stable relationships after 6 months of sobriety, while others may require 5 years. The early addiction recovery philosophy is that you should avoid starting a relationship for about 6 months.